So, the Duchess of Cambridge has gone ‘back to work’ for the first time since baby Charlotte arrived in May, and we’re all supposed to care a great deal about this momentous event. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Kate’s got a new haircut, which despite not being all that different to her previous one, has been one of the biggest news stories of the week (before something about a Prime Minister and a close encounter of the porcine kind made everyone lose their minds).
Kate was re-entering the limelight after her period of confinement to visit the Anna Freud Centre in London, an important organisation helping children and young people with mental health issues. You could be forgiven for overlooking the actual purpose of her visit though, as the media were much more concerned with the fact that she now has a fringe, in apparently a world first for a new mum in her thirties. Not only that, but she had the temerity to look slim and toned a mere four months after giving birth, something that the nauseating coverage of the story on Mail Online (obviously) was all to eager to point out.
You can always rely on the Daily Mail website to take inappropriately lecherous commentary of any story involving a young female celebrity to the nth degree, and they didn’t disappoint here. Apparently Kate ‘showcased her trim figure and slender legs’ in a stylish shirt-dress, which they illustrated with approximately 700 near-identical photos so we were in no doubt how trim and slender she looked.
The Sun joined in (of course) with the staggeringly disrespectful move of printing a sweaty-palmed paparazzo shot on their front page of Kate walking from her car and showing a bit of leg, with the whimsical headline ‘Thigh there, Kate’. They also included an inset picture of Kate’s new ‘do, to clarify that she is apparently nothing more than hair and a pair of legs.
Most hilariously, the Mail helpfully told us all where we could buy Kate’s dress from, in case we were so desperate to emulate her style that we were willing to spend £1245 on a work outfit. The article genuinely asks “Without the Duchess of Cambridge to copy, what have we all been wearing for the last few months?”. I don’t know, maybe clothes of our choosing because we have a brain of our own? As Kate does too under that hair. Brains don’t get you on the front page though, do they?